In a recent episode of Middle School Walk and Talk, hosts Phyllis Fagell and Jessica McGuire welcomed Patrick Green, a former middle school teacher and current digital wellness expert, to discuss the growing challenges of managing technology use in schools and at home. As devices become increasingly integrated into the lives of young people, educators and parents are faced with the complex task of guiding students to balance their digital lives with their offline ones. Green, who now works with parents, educators, and students to foster healthy relationships with technology, shared invaluable advice for navigating this modern dilemma. Listen to the podcast episode now, or enjoy the written recap here.
The Importance of Balance: Online vs. Offline Lives
Patrick Green’s core message throughout the podcast was the importance of balance. While technology can be a powerful tool for learning, connection, and creativity, it can also present challenges that impact young people’s emotional and physical well-being. One of the central themes of the conversation was how to help students thrive in both their online and offline worlds.
Green explained that students today are growing up in a world where their digital and physical lives are deeply intertwined. As schools increasingly incorporate technology into the classroom, and as kids are handed smartphones at younger ages, the boundaries between online and offline blur. According to Green, the key to helping students manage this balance lies in teaching them how to “live in balance with their online and offline lives”—to leverage the power of technology while also prioritizing face-to-face relationships and offline activities.
Sleep and Technology: A Universal Concern
One of the most pressing issues Green addressed is the impact of screen time on sleep. Research consistently shows that sleep is crucial for the healthy development of adolescents, yet many middle schoolers are not getting enough rest. This issue is exacerbated by technology use, especially late at night. Phones, laptops, and social media platforms can disrupt sleep, either through late-night scrolling, constant notifications, or the emotional toll of online interactions.
Green pointed out that this is an area where universal advice applies: if a phone is interfering with a child’s sleep, it’s important to set boundaries. He recommends that parents and educators create a clear “cut-off” time for devices each night, ideally removing phones from bedrooms. He noted that while not all screen time is bad—there are plenty of educational and positive uses—when devices interfere with sleep, the consequences can be damaging to a child’s health, behavior, and academic performance.
Encouraging Conversations, Not Just Rules
Green stressed the importance of encouraging open, non-judgmental conversations about technology use. Instead of simply saying “no” to a request for a new app or a smartphone, parents can engage their children by asking “why”—Why do you want this device? Why do you feel it’s important now? By asking these questions, parents can better understand their child’s social and emotional needs, allowing them to make more informed decisions about technology use.
In the classroom, teachers can also adopt a similar approach by fostering empathy and understanding. Green emphasized that when students feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to respect the boundaries set by adults. Simply saying “no” to devices or restricting access without context can shut down important conversations. Instead, Green recommends a more balanced approach: acknowledging the role technology plays in students’ lives while also setting clear boundaries around its use.
The Role of Schools in Technology Management
As schools continue to hand out laptops and introduce more technology in the classroom, many are grappling with how to balance academic focus with the social pressures of digital life (see AMLE’s recent survey of schools on cell phone policies). Green acknowledged that many schools are adopting policies that limit phone use during class time. Some schools have implemented “phone-free” policies or mandated that phones be stored in lockers during the school day. These policies aim to limit distractions and protect instructional time.
However, he cautioned that schools must be mindful of the message they send to students when enforcing these rules. If the only message students hear is “put your phone away,” they may begin to associate technology with negativity. Green encouraged schools to shift the conversation to focus on the positive aspects of limiting screen time, such as improving focus, fostering face-to-face relationships, and prioritizing health and well-being.
The conversation around technology in schools should not just be about restricting access but about teaching students how to use devices responsibly. Green argued that it’s critical for schools to not only model healthy technology use but also provide guidance on how to navigate both the benefits and challenges of living in a digitally connected world.
Empathy and Communication: Key Tools for Teachers and Parents
One of the most powerful pieces of advice Green shared was the importance of empathy. When a student is distracted by their phone or seems overwhelmed by an online situation, teachers and parents can step in with understanding. For example, when a student is caught using their phone in class, it’s helpful to recognize that they may be struggling with social pressures, like feeling excluded from a group chat or dealing with online bullying.
Green recommends showing empathy by acknowledging the emotional challenges students may be facing. Instead of simply reprimanding them, adults can approach the situation with kindness and understanding, offering guidance on how to manage distractions and redirect their focus. This approach not only helps students feel supported but also builds trust between adults and students, encouraging open dialogue and healthy decision-making.
Students Appreciate Boundaries—Even When They Push Back
Interestingly, Green noted that many students actually appreciate boundaries, even if they initially resist them. Some students he’s worked with have expressed relief when their parents or schools set limits on phone use, particularly around bedtime. These students report feeling less anxious and more focused when they aren’t constantly worried about missing out on online interactions. Green shared that a middle school student recently told him, “I want my parents to take my phone away at night because it helps me sleep better.”
This feedback highlights an important point: while middle schoolers may push back against rules around technology, many are aware of the negative impact it has on their well-being and are open to setting healthier boundaries. When adults communicate the why behind these boundaries—such as prioritizing sleep and face-to-face connections—students are more likely to understand and respect the need for limits.
Final Thoughts: Teaching Digital Wellness
Ultimately, Patrick Green’s advice boils down to creating an environment where students can learn to navigate both their digital and offline worlds. By setting clear boundaries, encouraging open communication, and modeling empathy, educators and parents can help middle schoolers develop the skills they need to thrive in a tech-driven world. The goal is not to demonize technology but to teach students how to use it in ways that support their academic success, emotional well-being, and healthy relationships.
As Green aptly put it, “It’s about creating spaces with boundaries and balance, where students can learn to thrive both online and offline.” This balanced approach, he believes, is key to preparing young people for a future where technology plays a significant role, but where face-to-face connections and self-care remain central to their growth.